One Degree Adjustments - Turning Weakness Into Strength
In life, the lightest turn of a radio dial can make the difference between what sounds like a schmozel and what sounds like a beautifully crafted symphony. It only takes one degree to change water into steam.
Here’s some one degree adjustments I’ve had to make that have made sure that I’ve not missed out on experiencing the best of my strengths and giftings.
1. The adjustment of disconnection
I’ve been amazed to find that people get re-charged in life by throwing a party – they’ve got to be Sanguines. Others get charged up by playing a really competitive game of golf or squash – they’re most likely to be the ones with the choleric streak. Others get re-charged by just chilling (usually the Phlegmatics), and others by tidying up their worlds or simply escaping to another world! (Melancholics unite). For me it’s definitely by disconnecting the flywheel and heading off to another planet!
A few years ago two guys and myself flew to the other side of Ireland complete with bicycles with a goal of cycling across Ireland, Wales and England, all the way back to our home town of Sheffield. We averaged about 80 miles a day and strained ourselves to get to the Welsh - English border where the temptation of catching the next train home became too great! The other two guys were much fitter than I but I kept up all of the way. I did, however, have a personal advantage – the power of disconnection. Whenever I listen to music, and in particular, music without words my speed and energy increases dramatically. They reckon the music of your teen years finds a way of seeping into your soul, remaining close to you till the day you pass away. Jean Michael Jarr, who had an instrumental hit in my teens with ‘Oxygene’ became a great hit with my pedal power. Our four day, 320 mile excursion based on no cycling preparation was, in many people’s estimate - crazy. Maybe for them it would have been but with the power of soul recharging music, for me it was a cinch! What does it for you? Everyone has a particular something that helps them both recover and re-energize from the challenge of the road behind and the road ahead. Even cycling suits me to a tee because even though I’m with people – I’m actually all on my own … perfect!
Allow me to indulge a little in my melancholic self analysis! The underlying reason why instrumental music (that includes riffs that go on forever) works so well with me is because of its consistent predictability and low demand. It actually releases me to think freely and deeply. It disconnects me from the urgent and moves me into a meditative state. Whenever I run with music, I feel less pain. When I drive with music, I go into an undemanding world that I really enjoy. For people like me, surface life is really demanding – finding solutions to problems, assessing reactions, studying the details, working the strategies, regulating the environment, picking up every vibe, boxing up things that don’t want to be boxed … it’s exhausting stuff, and can only be lived out with intervals (music with lyrics usually only adds to my workload by forcing me to listen to the words!) All through my life people have asked me “Are you ok?” when I start to move into one of my disconnected rest intervals. They watch me move from being hyper engaged in all that’s going on to being hyper disengaged. It’s a life recharging breather! Living is an exhausting business. When I meet someone for the first time I’m like a dog! I intensely sniff round and ask a thousand questions in an attempt to find out everything possible about their life. It’s pretty draining and many times I start feeling nauseous through my incessant quest for detail. Because I severely go overboard with people to the point of exhaustion, I then go under board simply to recover. It’s interval time. I’ll be back.
Whether your recovery from the weakness of depleted energy levels (that’s often accompanied by stress and agitation) comes from ‘extrovert’ activities or ‘introvert’ activities, it’s important to make the adjustments so you can stay on top in your quest to maximise the life you’re living.
2. The replacement of inconsistent interruption with consistent interruption
The environment you place yourself in cane make the difference between enjoying life or plain enduring it. I’ve found it’s important to create a ‘hot house’ so that I can accelerate the things that I value and cherish. Each person responds differently to the atmosphere that surrounds them. Some love absolute quietness. For others, it drives them crazy. Some love busy shopping centres, while others love a country road. Whatever it is, the secret of finding the right place can eliminate the weakness of being driven by the pressures that surround us that can leave us stressed and exhausted.
Not that long ago I visited McDonalds almost every morning for well over a year for a time of reflection and soul searching. I achieved a lot in the 45 minutes or so that I had allowed myself each time I went there. It was a season that I really enjoyed but there’s a time when all good things must come to an end (and I was beginning to get fat on the McSausage breakfasts). The reason why it worked so well for me was because it had a huge measure of consistent interruption – people coming in and out – the cleaners cleaning the servers serving. There was noise and busyness that became a fantastic supportive backdrop to my meditations. What works against me is inconsistent interruption. For example, I used to have an office at work but never managed to accomplish much at all. Almost all of my interruptions were inconsistent. Either I was being interrupted or, I was anticipating interruption. I never knew when it would be coming. My concentration level is generally so low, that if someone interrupts me out of the blue, it takes me at least ten minutes to get back into my internal groove of connected thoughts. If I’m speaking publicly and there’s a noise coming from somebody opening a packet of sweets, (which is an ‘inconsistent’ noise), I have a real battle on my hands. It’s important for you to find the right environment that enables you to either switch off and relax or switch on to high productivity and creativity. There’s a place that really works for you. Find it! It may be a shed, a place in the country, a hotel lobby, a library or a shopping mall – whatever – it’ll be a key to your future.
3. The elimination of multi tasking
Every time I bought the Saturday newspaper I found that it made me really moody and frustrated. For a while I thought it was because of the incessant diet of gossip that that particular paper was feeding me. I changed papers and still found myself really grumpy. I finally found out what the root of the problem was – my inability to multi task. The paper was demanding me to open every page and read it. My wife was also around looking for a normal, every day conversation after a busy week. My son was usually in the same room getting a good dose of Saturday morning television. My world on Saturday was being torn apart. I couldn’t successfully read, talk and watch TV at the same time. It used to drive me mental. My adjustment was to only read the paper when I’m on my own. Sometimes I go back to McDonalds and read the paper or find a shopping centre café and savour the moment. The solution to communicating with my wife has been to have no one else around and to have the telly off. In fact, one adjustment I make my wife do while talking to me is to stop all of the other things that she’s doing and only focus on me! If she continues to go about doing something else while talking to me I think she’s not listening (because I think she thinks like me) and the thought of her not listening causes me to lose my concentration. It usually takes a lot of effort for me to put words into sentences so I need as much concentration as possible. If I stop concentrating, it’s easy for me to call a knife a fork and a toaster an oven. It’s the same when I’m publicly speaking - I need the audiences full attention. I rarely refer to my notes because so often when I do, I lose concentration altogether and become really conscious of everyone staring at me. I need a groove that leads to a clear line of thought.
4. Exercising the art of minimalisation
Another practice that has helped me focus and offset a potential weakness of ‘overload’ is having a clean desk and no in tray or out tray on it. Minimalisation is my best friend. It simply means that there is only one task on the desk at one time. Any ideas I get or anything that needs to be done is quickly jotted down on a small square of paper and transferred to my diary later on. Even having my diary out on my desk reminds me of unfulfilled tasks. Its resting place is in my briefcase under my desk. Because I’m trying to do one thing at a time I find it an attainable goal. I try to complete the entire job in one sitting, even if it lasts for days! Because my strength is to hyper-focus once focussed, and because my personality loves the challenge of conquering mountains no matter how high, I get a real buzz out of the need to complete the task a.s.a.p. It also helps me to stay performance orientated. I used to think that that was a bad thing and that it came from insecurity and ego. Now I realise that even though that may have been true in my past it’s actually a part of who I am. I’m born to perform. In breaking life into its components, and each component into its elements, I can create bite sized achievable projects. Let me at them!
5. Developing ‘calming’ techniques
Making lists really helps me. The moment I make a list I feel much better. Without a list I feel like I’m in a mad scramble to get everything done. That feeling of panic and the need to fulfil every demand all at once is the principle reason why I go running at least every second or third morning and have been doing it for many years! I usually wake up in the mornings in a mild internal panic driven by priorities, responsibilities, urgencies and in-completed tasks running through the corridors of my mind. After a half hours run I feel like the edge has been taken off me. I feel mellowed and softened. The run has also given me an early sense of achievement in my day and a sense of achievement is important for people like me. Another thing that helps me calm down is to break my day up into two or three specific time periods. I’ve found that having a shower when I get home from work (even after having one in the morning) clearly separates one period of the day from another. I’m often speaking out at night and to do that effectively, I need a clear head and a breezy manner. Separating the day helps me do that. A day of non work each week also helps me clearly separate the previous week from the oncoming week. It acts as a detox, (even though my brain only partially disengages from my work activities). It helps me live one week at a time. A lot of times I don’t like talking about what’s going to be happening in three or four weeks time because I’m living life right up to the border of overload. The clear boundary between the sections of the day and the weeks helps me remain sane while I attempt to spin as many plates in life as I can.
My final words of adjustment go to all four personality types –
If you’re Choleric – try to think just for a few seconds before you speak. When you get hot headed, it’s so easy to say stuff you would never have said with a cool head. Think, then speak!
If you’re Sanguine – try not to over promise. It’s great to say to someone you’ll be their friend, but to say you’ll be their best friend forever is going a little over the top. It’s good to promise lunch on Wednesday but to promise three people lunch on Wednesday is a little overboard. Don’t let your enthusiasm run away with you to the extent of leaving people out on a limb of expectation or plain disappointed with your lack of anticipated follow through.
If you’re Melancholic – try not to say ‘I told you so’ to people who end up a little bruised and beaten. Elitism is the enemy to the successful Mel. Give people room to have a go and fail and then have another go with your full support. Give yourself room to fail and then have another go. Success always comes after a series of failures!
Finally, if you’re Phlegmatic, people are relying on you. Don’t be so laid back that you’re almost horizontal. Be unflustered but don’t put your head in the sand and think that all will be better when you resurface. You can’t hide from responsibility. Those who snooze lose. Add diligence to your amazing demure and you’ll always be in demand – that’s for sure.
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